nothing in this blog is true. . .but it's exactly how things are

which basically means that names, dates, locations, conditions, and everything else that might possibly lead to the discovery of someone's identity have been changed to protect the innocent, guilty, and terminally stupid.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

oh, the shame and embarrassment

I'm a very persistent, stubborn woman. Ask anyone. Especially ask the Rock Star, who actually thinks it's one of my more endearing qualities. So this past weekend was our last for snowboarding, and we headed up to the resort we went to back in February, on Valentines Day, the day I broke a few of my ribs on the left side at the sternum and at the bone/cartilage joint.

Apparently, I didn't do it well enough the first time, so I did it again. First run. It was icy, and I wasn't going nearly fast enough for the turn I wanted to take, and I took it anyway. Stupid of me. I knew it was going to be a hard hit, so I tried to tuck and roll, but I ended up landing on my right arm.

You EMS and medical folk, you know that sound that happens when you're doing good CPR. I heard that sound when I hit the ground. And it's kind of cool on somebody else, but it made me throw up in my mouth a little when I heard it coming from me. Or maybe that was just a normal reaction to the incredible flash of pain that jolted through my body as two of my bones snapped. I stayed very, very still for about thirty seconds, then stood up, assessed, and decided I could manage a few more runs. ("what?!" you say. . . I know, I know, but I was doing really well on improving my turns, and this was a huge group of friends I hadn't seen for a while, and it didn't hurt all that bad, and I'm a master [mistress? matron?] of denial, etc etc etc. . .)

I managed about four more lifts, one of which I rode clean from start to finish (yay me!!), then hit the bar for a much needed beverage and reassessment. I did try one time after the bar, but I was favoring and guarding so many different body parts that I ended up riding sloppy and decided it was quitting time.

After the Rock Star helped me get undressed, he tried to help me into bed. Bad idea. You've not truly experienced crepitus until you've felt it (and heard it, dear lord) on yourself. Even the unflappable Rock Star got a little pale.

It's a little embarrassing to admit that I broke both sides of my rib cage two months apart. And I don't want to hear any "maybe you should quit snowboarding"s, because it's something I love and something I'm actually starting to get better at. Feel free to suggest various forms of protection, however: so far, I've heard some real winners, including chest protectors from super cross racing; pillows, duct tape and baling wire; DDD boob job, and hockey gear. Personally, I think I'll stick with a calcium supplement and not falling anymore. And a lot of percocet and ibuprofen.

1 comment:

Danica said...

Take a martial arts class! They teach you to fall properly, no thinking about it, just muscle response. I have been boarding for many years, and through a lot of trial and error, I now land either on my forearms or flat out on my back to spread out the impact.

Wait for your ribs to heal first though.