nothing in this blog is true. . .but it's exactly how things are

which basically means that names, dates, locations, conditions, and everything else that might possibly lead to the discovery of someone's identity have been changed to protect the innocent, guilty, and terminally stupid.

Friday, May 11, 2007

drama system entries

The poem in the previous posting seems particularly applicable this past week. Two kids, 10 and 16, were shot through their sliding glass door in the next cul-de-sac over from mine last week. This makes me feel angry, and helpless. And it doesn't matter, really, that it was the result of some ongoing family feud that most likely involved drugs. All that matters is that the work I've done on my garden, my home, my sanctuary pales in comparison with the need for safety for my children. I decided, of course, that I needed to move immediately, but then realized that anyplace I could afford would have the same problems, but at least here, I know my neighbors, and we take care of each other. So I dig in the dirt, plant flowers and seeds with a little prayer for peace.



I've had this feeling, lately, that I should be doing something productive for posterity. I mean, I've got the school and career thing under my belt, I think I've got a handle on parenting (although just when I'm congratulating myself on being a fabulous mom, Miss Diva shatters the illusion with a zinger like this: "Mommy, remember when you said I'd have to live outside until I was 8?" but before you get all up in arms and call DHS, I should mention that I would have provided her with food and water and blankets. Really.) Anyway, maybe I should buy a house (yeah, right, that's gonna happen anytime soon) or work on my paintings or publish a book. So I sit down to write the great american novel and what comes out is. . .nothing.

Well, not really nothing. I mean, I type, and words come out on the screen, but what it really is is moose puke. Or yak butter. Yum. So maybe the great american novel isn't my style, and I should stick with poetry that will never, ever see the light of day.


Anyway.




I just finished up the TNCC (Trauma Nursing Core Course) that I'm required to take for my ER job. It was great to be in class again, but I didn't even open the book, because the lecture and the subject material seemed mostly like the second term of paramedic school. I breezed through the practicals (airway, spinal immobilization, trauma patient assessment) and watched with some amusement as the ICU nurses struggled with some of the biggies: Cushings, Becks, IOs, the rehydration formula for burns. I have the greatest respect for ICU nurses- the amount of information they retain is enormous- but it was interesting to see the tables turned, however briefly.


I've been working mostly night shifts, lately- 1545-0415- which makes day care much cheaper and is easier for the dads' work schedule. Plus, some very interesting patients come in at o'dark hundred. The ones who come in retching and wailing with pain, the cries a doppler effect as they're led past the nurses' station, then abruptly stop on entrance to the room, but the loud retching mysteriously starts up again when the patient hears footsteps outside the doorway, kinda like Pavlov's dog salivating to the dinging of the bell. After initial treatment of IV, meds, and a warm blanket, the nurse and I sit and engage in some mild black humor. "aaaaaeeeeeeerrrrrrkkkk," I gag quietly, mimicking our loud and proud un-puker, and the nurse laughs. "Drama alert!! Drama alert!!" she whispers. Doc D glances at us. "Heartless, absolutely heartless! Where is your compassion, people?" But before you take him too seriously, remember the time one of the other doctors saw a carpenter ant and raaaaaaan down the hall in the other direction, and Doc D jumped up on one of the rolling stools, waved his arms, and squealed, "a bug! a bug!" before sedately resuming his dictation. Compassion, my tuckus. Fun as night shift is, I'm discovering that my preference lies with the day shift nurses and doctors. Just the other day, we were so busy, and I was running back and forth starting IVs and cleaning wounds (it was a good day for heart attacks and table saws, apparently) when a guy came in with a bloody towel wrapped around his thumb. This is rarely a good thing. He didn't speak much English, which made things even more difficult. How do you say "bone rongers" in Spanish? Because that's what the doctor called for when he saw the guy's thumb. Or what was left of it. And rongers look like they're for exactly what they're for. Bone crunching.


Watching is bad enough. The sound is worse. Snip, snip, snip. Clank when the bone hits the stainless steel bowl. Blech. The patient pales, but remains stoic. I clean him up after the stitching, gently wash his little thumb nub, then apply a liberal coating of bacitracin, adaptic, and enough tube gauze to give him a Looney Tunes mega-thumb.


After I'm finished, he sits and ponders everything but the thumb. The nurse is trying to arrange for a ride home for the guy, and when she finally gets ahold of the taxi company, she calls for the interpreter, who is nowhere to be found. So she gets the guy's attention, and gives him a big smile and a jaunty thumbs up.



Whoopsie.

3 comments:

Ambulance Driver said...

"So she gets the guy's attention, and gives him a big smile and a jaunty thumbs up.



Whoopsie."

LOL...THAT was priceless.

Not long ago, we had a guy that fell off a motorcycle and got a world class case of road rash. When I was discharging him, I had him sign the instructions and said "Okay, I guess it's time for you to hit the road..."

Eric said...

Hey, I used the Drama System Entry term the other day. It was for a LOL who fell - get this - 16 HOURS previously. Goldman thought I was pretty funny, so of course I gave you the credit.

kmsw said...

ohhhh, thank you. I love that term. Fits so perfectly. Does Goldman even remember me? That 5 months seems like one big sleep deprivation hallucination. . .