quaking in my boots. . .er, um, sensible shoes

Sorry my posts are so erratic, folks. Had to cancel my home phone, and with it my dial-up. Yes, dial-up. In any case, this is a loooooong one, so grab a beverage of choice, put up your feet, and enjoy the story.

Last week, my first preceptor came in with a patient. (Long story short, she and I had a serious personality conflict, although I still haven't figured out why. Luckily, I was moved to a different preceptor for the end of my internship, and I did fine.) I didn't know she was even in the ER until the fine hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up, and I sensed EEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIILLLLL. I turned around, caught a glimpse of her, started shaking, did a quick soft shoe routine behind a curtain, and made like a stack of laundry. Or equipment cart. Anything to avoid her. But she caught up with me in the cafeteria, damn it all. Our exchange was very. . .um. . .polite.

Cleaning beds after an ER rush, one of the new nurses asked me where to dispose of bio waste. I pointed mutely at the large red garbage can in the corner. She giggled. "Whoops. Guess my blond is showing." I asked if the streak of blond framing her face in otherwise brunette hair was like a blondometer that increased in width when she was having a blond moment. (I can't help it. Sometimes these things just shoot out of my mouth.) She looked at me and then laughed. A deep, long belly laugh that shook her from her blond roots all the way to her toes.

thank goodness.

I did CPR for the very first time last week, and was sore for days after. Pt was a 36 yo female found down in a field. The entire code team and half the ER nurses were in there, but I shoved my way to the bedside, climbed up on the stool, and started compressions. That craaaaaack as her ribs separated from her sternum was one I was expecting, but it felt icky. Weird icky. Not at all like the dummies we practice on. Damn good upper body and ab workout, though. Maybe I'll get to add it to my regimen.

Only had two marriage proposals in my last few shifts. It's been a slow week. Maybe it has something to do with my self-tanning moisturizer accident. You know, the stuff that is supposed to be fool-proof. Apply it like lotion, it builds up color gradually. Somehow, I managed to get streaky, anyway. I wonder if I'll ever get the hang of this girl thing.

My parents came to visit this week. My mother apparently had an issue wiping with kleenex instead of Charmin (ahem. . .I'm a bit low on funds lately), because on the second morning of their visit, they showed up with a Mack truck sized package of toilet paper. It doesn't fit under any of the sinks, so for now, it's taking up valuable shoe space on the floor of my closet. I think Mom is hoping that it'll last until their visit next year.

Patient highlight of the week (aside from amusing myself with conversations with little old ladies who have been given Morphine. . .what a hoot!!) was the girl who came in POV after a fight with her boyfriend. They'd been discussing breaking up while they were driving on the freeway, and she decided the discussion was over, opened the door, and jumped out of the car.

Ouch.

Damage incurred: broken shoulder, cracked T1, several abrasions, and a deep, messy lac extending from her right eyebrow all the way to a hematomato in her hairline. The surgeon stepped in to take a look, and his only comment (he's a man of few words) was, "Oh, damn."

Last Monday was a great day. RevMedic brought a patient over from the coast, and stopped by my house after the drop off. I'm pretty sure I squealed like a girl when I saw him, I was so excited. Oh, wait. I am a girl. It's a good thing he wasn't hungry, because all I had to offer was my trademark chewy coffee, but hey, he drank it without complaint. We got caught up on work stuff ("how's everybody?" "same as usual." "The ocean?" "Still there.") and headed briefly into the personal, and then he told me all about his trip to Baltimore. I sighed wistfully a few times. I'm proud to call RevMedic family, and honored to have been his trainee. Of all the folks from that job, it's him I miss the most. Now if he'd just send me that employee movie. . .

They headed out after a bit more conversation. RevMedic rolled down the window and waved. "Be safe!!" I yelled. He grinned, wiggled his eyebrows like Groucho, and yelled back, "be good!"

I have absolutely no idea what he was referring to. I'm always good.

Don't look at me like that.